beyond the dark feminine


The dark feminine. It is one of the aspects that has haunted the civilization for quite a long time now. And now since the game is changing, there are somethings that must be seen, known, acknowledged and moved past for all women, children and mothers out there; for there to be truly, a resolution, a knowing of moving beyond the dark feminine.

And as usual, I can only give pointers here. It is for you, the reader, to see this, around you, or in yourself or in others. And the beauty of it is, as you see it truly, in any way, the energies start to clear. The haze moves away and the bright sun shines, once again.

dear feminine, this has haunted you, right from childhood. When you were a child, you played and danced in the gardens of your life, moving freely, knowing that there is a freedom of life energy, that danced with you, with playful laughter and fun and giggles, all of which you drank from and became more feminine. As years went by and you came to puberty, then came the storms of womanhood, crashing upon your innocence. And life visited you yet again, but in a different way now. It stemmed from your veins, from your womb, the desiring began. These desirings of life itself, from deep within your flesh you were unknown to and were unable to understand or comprehend. What is this? How do I relate to this? Is this also me? or is this something that is visiting me? Or is something coming from within me? All kinds of questions without answers. But you took the easiest way out. Culture. Doctrine. Other women like your mothers, who passed you their own limited knowing about this profound changes occurring within you. And so you became an unknowing partner in crimes for propagating the darkness of feminine, yet again.

You started to control others around you. You engaged in Manipulation. You took pleasure in Domination through coercion and the so-called feminine wiles. You flirted with boys, just to enjoy your power over them. For life itself stemming from within your vagina, gave you that power to attract. To pull other life towards you. Life inviting more life to engage in birth and creation. Instead of playfully engaging in love, you engaged in power and control over masculine. And yet they scared you did they not. For they rebellled against your very attitude of wooing without conclusion. To attract but not engage. And you started believing in the power of control and domination through your very femininity but not truly engaging with love and creativity of it all. All along insecure, scared of life that is consuming you, and yet running away from owning all that power of life. Passion became something of power, and only for the sake of power. Little did you realize, that the power of life visiting you, was not of you, but through you. You do not and have never owned that power, but simply a vessel of earth through which all nurturing and creativity of life itself flows. After all, did you not notice, that your very womb is the vessel of creation of humanity?

As a dark feminine woman, you became more consumed with this illusive power. And at the same time, you became more insecure inside, knowing very well, that this power that comes through you, does not have an ever lasting youth or life. You felt you have limited time. Clock was ticking! You started manipulating men around you. Got married and engaging in all kinds of vows and promises from your masculine counter part. Promising and receiving promises of love and cherishment from your partner, one that you, yourself could never deliver or even hope to; for you were never engaging in anything. Simply trying to avoid a conclusion that you knew and saw around you: the inevitable that one day, all that beauty, youthful feminine life energy in you, that showed itself as attractor of life itself, would fade into oblivion and you would be left with nothing, but wrinkles and old age. Being drunk from your power of control over your partner, in life, in bed, in your sexuality, in your manipulations of wanton praises of beauty and your oozing sexuality, demands of decorations of your body to maintain and entrain superficial decorations, your house and your mythically illusory personality traits, you never could see the very obvious truth, that you were never in any of this. Inherently you knew, that this is not truly you or never could be. How could life be so cruel as to flow through me, and yet not belong to me? How could life flow so much power of attraction and passionate lust, yet strip away everything I know, a few years later, only to become a cynical lonely old woman who seemingly lived a pointless past? That was and always has been a frightening thought you ran from is it not? And so you clung to everything that was never yours to begin with, using all cloudy tools you had at your disposal, causing all manner of damage, not just to you and your partner or many as such, but to all humanity and all life; for you could not see the light that you truly could be: to truly let love and passion flow and flow continually without any stoppers or boundaries; without any rules or regulations; without any control or manipulation.

And then came motherhood and it all became even more confusing isn’t it? Children. Boys and girls. And some of them came and went quickly and left you torn inside. How could life bloom within my womb and yet be taken away by life itself? What purpose did all that bring? Unanswered questions. Some lived. And you breathed your compassionate mother from within you, into that little life. You gave it unconditional love. Or did you? As they grew up, did your love become conditional? Did you want them to grow up according to your rules and conditions? What you believed right and wrong? Society and culture crutch once again? And so you transformed that feminine power into a mother power, still remaining within the power framework of operation, didn’t you? How has it panned out, oh dark mother? Are you not seeing the play out in your news, seeing dark masculine, demanding and commanding armies, controlling the world around you, abusing the feminine, calling them the better half and treating them as a substandard gender all in the same breath? And now can you really, truly blame the masculine for all the damage in the world and to you, knowing that you propagated this to begin with? All that illusion of power of life, that you wanted to hang on to, command and disperse with your body and mind, is now being reflected back to you via dark masculine from the world around you isn’t it? Your husband, your lover, your children, all demanding from you. Your world, now mired in superlatives that don’t make any sense to you, is it? And you’re this crazy drunk woman, mother who has no clue one day, what really happened in you, in your life, through you, through your very body? What is all this, that I call, my life?!

Wake up dear feminine. You can choose now, this moment onwards, to just engage with life that flows through you. Choose to let it flow, rather than be in illusion that you own it; let it own you. Become a flow with it, for you do not own life: it merely flows through your womb and your being. Become that river that nourishes everything it touches, rather than being in the myth that you control it. Allow life to manipulate you into a breeze that is the wind of creation itself. You are not that wind. It just flows through your breasts. It just becomes your hair that cascades in the physical winds of earth. Life chose you to be that vehicle of nurturing and compassion, not to hold on to it, but to give it all away. In all that you give away, you become more of you, claim more of your youth and old age. You stop moving in grace, and let grace overcome your stride. Let your children as boys, your men as your companion drink from this sacred essence, and they will bless you, revere and honor you, for they would then see the beauty of all life itself, and not mere illusions. But something real and attainable. And at the same time, your true security, becomes your own flowing, not hanging on to someone or something, but a gracious sensuality envelopes you from everywhere. Trees sway, with your hair. Birds sing with your voice. Rivers of earth flow as gracefully as you do. Rains shower benevolence with your compassion. The very earth bows before your true beauty as it shines through your being outward, yet ever receiving everyone inward into you, your body, your breath. As you become this true love, the essences of your body, become your perfume, the butterfly swings in the air you breathe out, the new children honor your word, from the truth that always comes in understanding and beauty through your lips, and men will love you without condition or need, for they would not need any more food of life, other than your being. You will start healing the world, one human at a time. You will start embracing all that always belonged to you, that you threw away once. Once again, the choruses of songs that were always here, will resound from the earth, played by orchestra of skies and you will hear it. Once again, you will become real. Not some mythology or a fake goddess. But someone that looks into the eyes of those around you, and all everyone sees is love moving. Everything about you then becomes love. You’ll find that you need not talk of love or even of spreading it, but it will become you, without you ever having to own it ever again. So wake up dear feminine, the world is awaiting your arrival. The awakened divine feminine.


the barriers of belief



if there is one strong energy, that blocks all of a humans progress into the unknowns and territories unexplained, it is the barrier of belief. and it is one very strongly tied into emotional security. the intellect does not require security, for it knows, it can always reason and find new avenues to discover and thrive from. whereas the emotional security is what humans normally call belief. it is a requirement on the part of the human, without any personal discernment. there is no credit given in a belief system, “to know”, “the gut feeling” or the intuition. beliefs are etched in stone, and that is the way it has always been. or so we are told. belief requires unconditional concurrence. it requires unquestioned faith. it requires followers. it requires a herd or a mob mentality for it to sustain itself.

and so humanity all over has this trait. especially in the old energy. for it was needed to somehow shepherd and monitor humanity into a proper direction by giving them a set of structured beliefs and systems thereof. and then it became the well known tool for power people to use and misuse for their own benefit. but above all, this highest strength is not even that. it is the personal. the immediate family and friends. the community next to the human. if a person choses to step away from that stronghold of belief, he or she must face consequences of emotional isolation. or so it had been, once again in the older energies. social ostracization. mockery. isolation as a result. and so in the older energies, very few got of the wheel of mainstream beliefs and systems.

now the energies of the planet have changed. there is new consciousness of questioning everything that was old beliefs, ideas and structures. and it is everywhere in the world now. people are waking up from a dream. and the very first hurdle they encounter, is the barrier of belief. can they step away from what they were taught and told. can they go with the awakening happening in the silent depths of their being. can they discover what this calling inside is all about? and it has already begun. the awakening of humanity is upon us. and it is vital to know, that there is no one stopping you now, to cross the barriers of belief. it is vital to know, that you have many who are feeling the same way you are, and are stepping out of the box they were born into. for humans take courage from other humans. and it is vital to realize, that you are not alone in this. there are many. perhaps around your in your workplace, in your community, town, village and perhaps even among your friends. for many, this will be a source of great courage to boldly step forth. they would need it. for many others who do not need that kind of support, are already there, waiting with their hands out to you. expand your family. remove your blinders of culture and beliefs and truly see. you never know what you might find.

the luxuriousness of awakening


there is a certain energy to an awakening soul. and feel into this, as you may have already known in your own awakening experience. it is a sense of spacious luxuriousness. and i am not just speaking here of those countless aha moments or epiphanies that is so common to all awakening souls. but a luxurious feeling. its more in the feeling space first and then travels, so to speak, to the mental space where thoughts and reasoning happens. a luxuriousness of breathing easy. of walking slowly. smelling the breath itself. blinking slowly perhaps. staring at things or surroundings or people as you walk by in the streets longer perhaps. a feeling of being luxurious within ones own skin and body, is strongly indicative of just one of the many so called symptoms of awakening. and this isn’t very commonly recorded in many places, as i have come across. but you know its there.

that languid stretching into what is being comfortable within ones own skin is something i have seen within other beings who are awakening also. it is unnamed. there is no earthly way to describe the feeling except in pointing towards that. it has a quality of having a lot of smiles, a lot of sighs, and it maybe something because you see and you observe perhaps something you’ve never quite seen in that before. it may not be necessarily be something new. it maybe perceiving something already there with new internal feeling about it. its more than just bland awareness. it is more feeling as well. it is more than a feeling. it is the feeling of a childlike sheer curiosity and wonder. it is a sensuality and yet it is beyond sensuality. it is not sensuality as an external temporal experience, rather feeling and becoming it as a whole being. it is dancing to an unheard tune and  yet music and dance become a blend that resonates into it. dancing and art become a natural extension to this luxury. not something that is to be done, but an extension of it.  even daily chores and work start becoming extensions of luxuriousness. safety and protection start seemingly going away from you in stages. for what is there to be safe or protected against, when everything is conspiring to embrace you in its arms and just play with you. there is that again. play. but a play not born of hurriedness or competition, but just an ease of luxuriousness, a slow dance. sighing a lot. a lot! at the beauty and cuteness of everyone and everything around. of course it has always been beautiful. but now you see it!

so you see, how this can become an expanded sensual living, moment to moment, day to day. obviously one does not want or have the desire to veer away from such a state. perhaps it is one reason why masters of yore and present, are just content to sit and contemplate the beauty in them, around them.

The Energy of Doubt

So you have it many times… doubt. I have it too. Each of us have it. And so for these next few moments let us dive into the energy of doubt. Explore doubt. Call doubt to the party and have a dance with it. Or call it for a date and have a chat by the fire. Or however you associate intimate time as!

So when you have a doubt about something, some say it is just my mind chatter and put it aside. But you know as well as I do, that the demon just sleeps and will awaken in time and the doubt comes up again at some other time. So then you go, ok, that did not work very well and pushing aside doubt as some other mean old dog or a demon did not work very well. It still sits there silently and does wake up and cause mischief in my mind, like that naughty kid who sits there silent when told to shut up, but the true nature of the child wakes up in due course and does the thing that is most natural to it, once again. No wonder all the people who suggest its just mind chatter and to ignore it do not go very far, do they?

Others would have you believe, that doubt is lack of faith or belief in something. What? What do I believe or have faith in? And this bunch of people would have you believe in etheric, woowoo, invisible stuff, stuff you cant see. Some would call it God, Almighty etc. And they would call it Trust, faith etc that you need to have. If you go along with this theme, you might get a long laundry list of things to do, words and catch phrases to remember of what god said to do or be like. That could not hurt all that bad, if you had a good memory to begin with. Although it might pinch your pocket when they start asking for memberships, special offers on the sure road to divinity and riches or virgins in heaven!

Enough of belittling a very profound energy that lives with each of us each day, in one form or another. Let me propose something here and leave you to absorb the energy of this point of view.

Doubt is the energy of not being sure. Ofcourse we all know that one. But then, why are you not sure? Because you dont know all the facts, you say? Yes, maybe in a knowledge sort of way. But what if you knew all the answers to begin with and you say ” I doubt that” only because you DO know at some level that you are sure, but you doubt that within you, which is sure of itself!? So observe this within you, next time you catch yourself, even silently in your own mind, saying to yourself “I doubt that”, which means, there is a definite certainty within you about that, and all you mean, when you say “I doubt that” is that you are doubting that energy of certainty which is already there! So, in this premise, all you are doubting is, your own innate sense of certainty, is it not? Now it becomes more deep. So why is it you doubt your own certainty? Is it because you dont want to you to know consciously that you do, indeed have all the answers? If so, why is it that you do not want to be sure, when you in fact do want to be sure in the first place? Doesnt make any sense I hear you say! But you do, and you know you do! Also you might have noticed, that you are here, the creator of doubt, and not the victim of it. For in you, there already was certainty. You created the doubt by saying “I doubt that”. And so, what if you did not create doubt. What would remain then? One of two things I would assume: Either you would say, I know this and go with whatever you know you know to be true…. OR you would be silent and wait for the knowing to appear and present itself with the right answer. But you would not be making the statement ” I doubt that” . Are you with me so far?

Here is another aspect of doubt that you may have perhaps noticed. Doubt is cancerous. And that is to say, the once you go down that path of self denial and refusing to allow what you know to come forth in its clarity, you take it everywhere then. To the park, to your work, your idle mind chatter, your beliefs, your knowing, your knowledge, your relationships, your health, your abundance, your wealth and just about everything in your life! It becomes a fun game to doubt everything! After all, there is no end to self denial, now is there?! What about joy and love? Do you doubt that too. Of course you do! If you doubt everything else, why would this be excluded?

Now let us see an arbitrary you, that did not have doubt. Lets just assume that. So either you are certain or you are waiting for the answer, but you just do not doubt whatever is. What does your world look like then? Everything is certain then. You are certain that you do not have the answer or you are certain that you do. So you are living then in an energy of certainty. Never in the shadows of doubt, but always in the light, do you see? You can hold the energy of waiting for an answer, maybe even all your life, but it is far better than assuming an answer and doubting it all the time, do you see? And what about that little voice in you, you call intuition, that voice which has only answers, eventhough you did not even have questions to begin with!? Where does that come from? Intuition never seems to be doubtful at all. About anything, have you noticed?

Doubt, is the energy of mind, asking you to never truly accept or be or know anything. Mind will never ever allow you peace and quiet. Even if you think you have the right answer today, this hour, you will wake up tomorrow, one week or one year or one decade from now and ask yourself “could that be really true?” and it will always be that way, for mind is that way. Look at it this way, if mind gave you certainty and answers, pretty soon there would be no, what you call, Analysis, Reasoning, Logic and so on, for all the answers are done. It would be a full stop, not a comma! And that in itself would mean redundancy or obsolescence of mind itself would it not? Now why would the mind want the death of itself? No reason to be suicidal now is there?! So, my dear human being, the next time you have doubt, know that it is only your mind playing tricks on you and is a phantom. You know the answers to everything. And if you are doubting that right now, that is the way it should be, for then I know, your mind is working perfectly as it should.
But then why would you choose doubt over joy? For joy is certainty. Doubt certainly cannot be joyful, now can it? So why dont you start choosing certainty. Just for the fun of it. For a whole day. Just be certain. At all costs. Do only certain things. Not Doubt things. And watch how much struggle mind puts you through. Only then you will truly notice, how much your mind has its muscle over you.