Decloaking the dark masculine

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Oh how many lives have you spent dear masculine, in cloak and daggers?! How many lives have you taken, seemingly in utter darkness, fighting ghosts and demons, that were never yours to begin with? Aren’t you tired of taking on the burdens of other’s darkness as your own, trying to transmute that, which was never yours to begin with? How many lives have you spent, trying to simply love and give with an open heart, only to be manipulated by your children, by the dark feminine that you called, your love of your life? Spending your days in the sun, yet seemingly within the darkness overshadowed by the dark feminine, creating wars and disease on this planet. Wearing your armor and dagger upon you, as if that was your nature, only to please the dark feminine, only to live and die on an earth, which awaited you to drop all weaponry, to claim yourself, truly as you are?! How many times have you destroyed all that you built, cities upon civilizations, and killed the very same children, that the dark feminine birthed, not realizing the ignorance of it all! Did you really think, bravery was needed in any way at all? Or was it just a mask put upon you, by others who claimed to love you, cherish you, the mothers, the daughters, the lovers, the mistresses and wives you had? Did you claim cloudy qualities that were imposed onto you, that had never to do with your truth, only to be puzzled over and over again by conflict, strife, kingdoms of separation, wars over earth, battles over empty superiority happen to you, with you, with your other brothers around you, over and over again? So blinded were you by imposed qualities of others upon you, that you did not even see the brothers you killed standing there on the battle field, ones you claimed to protect, killing the very same children borne by the very dark queens you loved and cherished, who sent you to battle, for her wishes? And here you sit in this day and age, still quarreling over with bosses, financial institutions, governments, having militaries and weaponry all over again; once again for wishes of dark feminine, claiming fake love, adoration, manliness, courage all over again?! Have you not learnt anything at all?! Playing the same scenarios over again, where are you? Where is that real you?

Time to drop that armor of warrior, for it is time to stop being in war with your self. Time to abandon bravery and courage, for why are all that needed when there is no adversary left on the field? Time to bury all hatchets forever, for you do not have to fight the battles of your dark feminine, for the earth is waking all the feminine up from their slumber now. It is time to unburden yourself from all conflicts and realize they were never yours to begin with! Time to sit in your cocoon of silent consciousness that is your being. It is time to let the awakening feminine do her job of clearing up all the mess left behind and you can now relax and breathe in your pure consciousness. The earth is blessing you and holding your hand and caressing your feet under you. The earth knows what has happened through eons, though you may have forgotten it all. Time to build what you always knew was possible. Time to embrace your own true divine masculine identity and consciousness that you are and have always been. Radiate your light and your inner stability, as the feminine goes about rebuilding the earth around you. It is time you smiled and really looked around and see things for what they are without fear, without courage, without anger or shame, for none of those are required from now on. Discard all ideas, concepts, laws and rules of eons, that you built around control and manipulation, for the earth no longer supports that which is out of integrity: the truest one, the one that is divine masculine in you.

That divine masculine in you, needs freedom. It is begging to break out of the armor and weaponry that you have carried for so long. Only then can you breathe purely. Only then you will begin to have an opening in you, a window that opens out into the wide field, where you see only play; where you can create out of benevolence for yourself now, without any agendas for anyone. The earth requires you to create and build with your own consciousness now: the one that was always there, but this time; unencumbered by burdens and demands of others around you, whoever they maybe or whatever claims they may make of you. You are free finally! The earth has freed you by waking up the feminine herself. It is time you shined the light of pure consciousness, of holding balance everywhere, learning to hold hands with your brothers who are in all lands everywhere, who are around you in your workplace, with the lightness of touch that only you can carry. As pure consciousness, others around you will change. You can begin to see that each day, in new ways. You don’t really have to do anything. Just shed the old skins you have been layering upon yourself all along.

That, in itself is a tall order, for the layers go deep. Can you live without courage? Do you have to have an adversary again for you to feel good about yourself? Could there be a beautiful you that is always speaking to you from the depths of your heart, free of any ideas and shackles that had been imposed upon you? Do you hear it ? Does it sound light as a feather to you? If you feel like flying away with it, and let it take you anywhere it wants to go with the new winds of change, will you allow it to now? New creations are standing at your doorstep, energetically, for you to step out and claim them as yours. For you are the builders, the conceptual poets and singers that will chorus the new earth with your own unencumbered, unchained consciousness. You will become the bastion of light for all the awakening feminine who needs it to rebuild a new earth. Be obsessed about finding your own consciousness and let that light guide you out of this maze, called the new realities. There is no one to battle anymore. There are no need of weapons and daggers. There is no need of courage or bravery. There are no old ideas, rehashed and sold as new advertisements, movies or songs or concepts anymore. There is only you and what only you can bring. And something that you have always known, minus your family, friends, wives or lovers. Just you. And that is waiting to be claimed and birthed by you. Something only you, dear divine masculine, are capable of doing. Walk this path, and flowers will blossom where you walk, wind will have your back, and the earth will sing her song for you, through her birds and the winds. You will know it beyond any doubt. And that is when the journey of magic begins for you.

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beyond the dark feminine

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The dark feminine. It is one of the aspects that has haunted the civilization for quite a long time now. And now since the game is changing, there are somethings that must be seen, known, acknowledged and moved past for all women, children and mothers out there; for there to be truly, a resolution, a knowing of moving beyond the dark feminine.

And as usual, I can only give pointers here. It is for you, the reader, to see this, around you, or in yourself or in others. And the beauty of it is, as you see it truly, in any way, the energies start to clear. The haze moves away and the bright sun shines, once again.

dear feminine, this has haunted you, right from childhood. When you were a child, you played and danced in the gardens of your life, moving freely, knowing that there is a freedom of life energy, that danced with you, with playful laughter and fun and giggles, all of which you drank from and became more feminine. As years went by and you came to puberty, then came the storms of womanhood, crashing upon your innocence. And life visited you yet again, but in a different way now. It stemmed from your veins, from your womb, the desiring began. These desirings of life itself, from deep within your flesh you were unknown to and were unable to understand or comprehend. What is this? How do I relate to this? Is this also me? or is this something that is visiting me? Or is something coming from within me? All kinds of questions without answers. But you took the easiest way out. Culture. Doctrine. Other women like your mothers, who passed you their own limited knowing about this profound changes occurring within you. And so you became an unknowing partner in crimes for propagating the darkness of feminine, yet again.

You started to control others around you. You engaged in Manipulation. You took pleasure in Domination through coercion and the so-called feminine wiles. You flirted with boys, just to enjoy your power over them. For life itself stemming from within your vagina, gave you that power to attract. To pull other life towards you. Life inviting more life to engage in birth and creation. Instead of playfully engaging in love, you engaged in power and control over masculine. And yet they scared you did they not. For they rebellled against your very attitude of wooing without conclusion. To attract but not engage. And you started believing in the power of control and domination through your very femininity but not truly engaging with love and creativity of it all. All along insecure, scared of life that is consuming you, and yet running away from owning all that power of life. Passion became something of power, and only for the sake of power. Little did you realize, that the power of life visiting you, was not of you, but through you. You do not and have never owned that power, but simply a vessel of earth through which all nurturing and creativity of life itself flows. After all, did you not notice, that your very womb is the vessel of creation of humanity?

As a dark feminine woman, you became more consumed with this illusive power. And at the same time, you became more insecure inside, knowing very well, that this power that comes through you, does not have an ever lasting youth or life. You felt you have limited time. Clock was ticking! You started manipulating men around you. Got married and engaging in all kinds of vows and promises from your masculine counter part. Promising and receiving promises of love and cherishment from your partner, one that you, yourself could never deliver or even hope to; for you were never engaging in anything. Simply trying to avoid a conclusion that you knew and saw around you: the inevitable that one day, all that beauty, youthful feminine life energy in you, that showed itself as attractor of life itself, would fade into oblivion and you would be left with nothing, but wrinkles and old age. Being drunk from your power of control over your partner, in life, in bed, in your sexuality, in your manipulations of wanton praises of beauty and your oozing sexuality, demands of decorations of your body to maintain and entrain superficial decorations, your house and your mythically illusory personality traits, you never could see the very obvious truth, that you were never in any of this. Inherently you knew, that this is not truly you or never could be. How could life be so cruel as to flow through me, and yet not belong to me? How could life flow so much power of attraction and passionate lust, yet strip away everything I know, a few years later, only to become a cynical lonely old woman who seemingly lived a pointless past? That was and always has been a frightening thought you ran from is it not? And so you clung to everything that was never yours to begin with, using all cloudy tools you had at your disposal, causing all manner of damage, not just to you and your partner or many as such, but to all humanity and all life; for you could not see the light that you truly could be: to truly let love and passion flow and flow continually without any stoppers or boundaries; without any rules or regulations; without any control or manipulation.

And then came motherhood and it all became even more confusing isn’t it? Children. Boys and girls. And some of them came and went quickly and left you torn inside. How could life bloom within my womb and yet be taken away by life itself? What purpose did all that bring? Unanswered questions. Some lived. And you breathed your compassionate mother from within you, into that little life. You gave it unconditional love. Or did you? As they grew up, did your love become conditional? Did you want them to grow up according to your rules and conditions? What you believed right and wrong? Society and culture crutch once again? And so you transformed that feminine power into a mother power, still remaining within the power framework of operation, didn’t you? How has it panned out, oh dark mother? Are you not seeing the play out in your news, seeing dark masculine, demanding and commanding armies, controlling the world around you, abusing the feminine, calling them the better half and treating them as a substandard gender all in the same breath? And now can you really, truly blame the masculine for all the damage in the world and to you, knowing that you propagated this to begin with? All that illusion of power of life, that you wanted to hang on to, command and disperse with your body and mind, is now being reflected back to you via dark masculine from the world around you isn’t it? Your husband, your lover, your children, all demanding from you. Your world, now mired in superlatives that don’t make any sense to you, is it? And you’re this crazy drunk woman, mother who has no clue one day, what really happened in you, in your life, through you, through your very body? What is all this, that I call, my life?!

Wake up dear feminine. You can choose now, this moment onwards, to just engage with life that flows through you. Choose to let it flow, rather than be in illusion that you own it; let it own you. Become a flow with it, for you do not own life: it merely flows through your womb and your being. Become that river that nourishes everything it touches, rather than being in the myth that you control it. Allow life to manipulate you into a breeze that is the wind of creation itself. You are not that wind. It just flows through your breasts. It just becomes your hair that cascades in the physical winds of earth. Life chose you to be that vehicle of nurturing and compassion, not to hold on to it, but to give it all away. In all that you give away, you become more of you, claim more of your youth and old age. You stop moving in grace, and let grace overcome your stride. Let your children as boys, your men as your companion drink from this sacred essence, and they will bless you, revere and honor you, for they would then see the beauty of all life itself, and not mere illusions. But something real and attainable. And at the same time, your true security, becomes your own flowing, not hanging on to someone or something, but a gracious sensuality envelopes you from everywhere. Trees sway, with your hair. Birds sing with your voice. Rivers of earth flow as gracefully as you do. Rains shower benevolence with your compassion. The very earth bows before your true beauty as it shines through your being outward, yet ever receiving everyone inward into you, your body, your breath. As you become this true love, the essences of your body, become your perfume, the butterfly swings in the air you breathe out, the new children honor your word, from the truth that always comes in understanding and beauty through your lips, and men will love you without condition or need, for they would not need any more food of life, other than your being. You will start healing the world, one human at a time. You will start embracing all that always belonged to you, that you threw away once. Once again, the choruses of songs that were always here, will resound from the earth, played by orchestra of skies and you will hear it. Once again, you will become real. Not some mythology or a fake goddess. But someone that looks into the eyes of those around you, and all everyone sees is love moving. Everything about you then becomes love. You’ll find that you need not talk of love or even of spreading it, but it will become you, without you ever having to own it ever again. So wake up dear feminine, the world is awaiting your arrival. The awakened divine feminine.

All Light and No Love?

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Once again, so many light workers out there, trying to spread “light” without any “love” in it? How are you doing so far, lightworker ? Without any of that sparkle of love, that you were born with? One that got crushed and trampled all over; or so you think? How does it feel to have your light shine over and over, and yet in your most private moments, you feel incomplete? Unloved? Uncared for? And what is the point of all that light work, when you cannot even shine a flicker of a candle of light, for yourself? For you own life ? For that very heart that beats within you, unconditionally, all your life? What use is all of that lightwork?

Begin today. Begin here and now. There is no tomorrow or yesterday, so you claim with a tallness of your light, so why not embrace it fully yourself? Why not have the love that you have, through the vehicle of which you did shine your light in the first place? What is with you shutting down your own beautiful heart? Where did you lose sight of your own love? Yes, that one, that shines inside your heart? What about shining that for YOU, and just out of pure joy, just for you? Not for someone else. For YOU for a change? Why don’t you have poetries that are waiting to burst out of you, in a million words, flow; once again. Why don’t you have the love pour out through your body, that you so conveniently have labelled lust and tried to “move on” shutting out your own becoming; one that you came to experience on this planet in the first place! Why don’t you own your heart, rather than scattering your being all over the place, and let love surge in your veins and blood and bones, once gain. And this time; don’t let it go; rather let it flow in you, through you, outside of you, inside of you; without any judgement or your great preconceived notions and verbiage of what that love should look like or feel like? Are you truly ready for such an adventure of a lifetime? If you say you are, let us give this intent now and see if it gives you the goosebumps, shall we?

I AM THE LOVE THAT I AM,
I AM THE LOVE THAT I HAVE WAITED FOR.
I AM THE LOVE THAT SHINES WITHIN ME, FOR ME, FROM ME.
I AM THE LOVE THAT IS WITHIN ME.
I AM THE LOVE WITHIN ME, THAT IS HEALING ALL OF ME,
I NOW CLAIM THE LOVE THAT I AM
I NOW ALIGN WITH THE LOVE THAT I AM
I NOW ALIGN WITH THE LOVE WITHIN ME
I BECOME ALL OF THE LOVE THAT I AM
I RADIATE ALL OF THE LOVE WITHIN ME
I CLAIM THAT LOVE THAT I AM
I BECOME THE LOVE THAT I AM

and so embrace that love. And know that love is the cocoon, the egg, from within your heart from where your true self emerges. One that will truly bring a wholeness of light with love, to all that you know. But as always, it has to begin with self. You. Yes, YOU! Open that lotus within your heart, which shines like a million moons, through the grace and brilliance of your soul, which knows only love. The dream of the heart. Yours. Call it. Embrace it. With all of you. Become it. And it will change forever what you know as light work. It will bring grace and beauty, love and compassion, to all that you are doing as a form of light work, healing, restoration, working with humanity in any way at all. This is a clarion call to all hearts that are ready to be opened. For we are all one.

Paradigms of shifting consciousness

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And the times that we currently live in are a pure characteristic of a shifting consciousness. Of one and therefore of many. Of many yet again reflecting back to the one. Each is dealing with the shifting energies of the planet and you, in a unique way. New downloads, new realities to step into external and internal. And so what characterizes these shifting consciousnesses? Here I offer some. Again by no means are they replete with everything or remotely even complete. Just a few observations when we speak of “the shift” and what it entails:

  1. No two days or even hours are the same. And we humans hold on to things, humans that we are. The past, the future and even the moment now. It has to be a certain way, a certain protocol and certain feelings or thoughts. It is a good trait, for it helps us in holding our balance and not fall off the edge of the earth, or what it typically seems like many times isnt it? Moving energies characterize our current moment to moment reality. Or even realities. For as we shift and change, so do we affect the rest of the dirt of the earth, our families, friends, the strangers we pass by. Each is affecting the other. Reflection and refraction all taking place all at once. This puzzle is beautiful. Like peeling an onion of ever evolving consciousness flower. And so get used to being on an endless roller coaster. Don’t fear it. Be excited by it. Crave it. Move with it. And don’t ever ever define it.
  2. High and low is just duality. Everything you have ever been as a human and even were in past lives, if you believe in such a thing, is just duality. Within this dualism, there is love, hate, laughter, tears and just about all the gamut of humanism. You have indeed come to grasp of this acutely. With intent to understand your own humanism. What pushes and pulls you within this world of physicality, and yet within the abstraction of the mind and heart. The pendulum of these moving winds pushes the envelope of the moving energies itself. Duality pushes humans to ever be exploratory, ever moving forward, sometimes without even blinking or looking back even or even looking down on how high you might have reached or how many summits you might have already scaled that look like ants to you now. Accept the beauty of duality, as that ever moving pulsation of inwards to outwards, female to male, adult to child all happening as you, with you, within you and without you, all at once, at the same time never happening but just an observation of all.
  3. Pausing helps. If you are moving on a conveyer belt of realistic moving energies, where is the stability that I need? you might ask. Well, it is within the pause that you exert. You can pause as you wish. Go as you wish. It is all within your personal grasp. And the keyword there is personal. There is nothing universal about the shift. It is a very personal trip. Choose your own speed, create your own internal timer to access, push, receive and merge with the new energies. For every quantum energy available is cumulative, that is to say, it is always there. Always available. Not just now or the next few years or even the next 1000 generations. It is always available. There is no rush. None. The only rush you feel, is the ever open, delicious invitation to making love with all that is, with yourself. And so this pull of love, pushes you to explore. But take breaks. Pause. It helps immensely. For it creates a space of breath. Time to watch your breathing. Time to blink between stares.
  4. All definitions are redundant. Every term, new age or otherwise, is redundant now. Meaningless. A mere verbiage for the human to feel comfortable, that they are not going insane somehow. This is just being human. Understandable. But really, is there even any need for developing a whole new agey vocabulary full of myriads of angels, spaceships, terms and definitions, creating more duality sometimes of some dark and some light etc? Instead, why don’t you enjoy whatever you’re enjoying and let everything else be, let everyone do what they are, but no definitions from your side. Be a nothing in a sea of nothingness, working with nothingness, but only your own presence. The one who breathes and eats, has sex, has gone through the whole play of life so far and is reading this. Just a simpleness of being. This would help avoid all the confusion of thinking who’s right, who’s not, whats really happening and whats not and so on.
  5. Creating as we go alone. This has been somewhat covered above, but it is important to know. We individually are creating every step. There are no more prophecies or predictions anyone can give. Of mass consciousness or you individually. Every step is being treated by your own choices, intents and action, big or small but its you. Only thing is, the YOU definition that YOU have is changing with YOU and BY YOU. When that is happening, what you’re sure of now, will not be 5 minutes after you finish this reading would it? And so let go and let even this whole article be redundant. Just create. Be propelled by your own essence. Not copy anyone or anything. Uniquely you. Are you ready to be that outrageous?

Develop and destroy as you go along this roller coaster. Don’t be shy. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be stuck in anything or anyone. There are no rules to this other than the ones you create. You don’t have a fixed future. You have a dynamic now. Right now and every other nows that come along. Participate in them like you would in the most erotic sexual fantasy you can live through, fully, with your entire being, not just physical. That is the way to navigate this. Without confusion or hesitation. With you that started reading this in one hand, to the you that is nodding at the end of this on the other hand. Take all your yous with you. For it is all YOU.

Opportunities for Breath

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Are you seeking resolve and quelling of every event in your life, that took you inside out through the churning of your mind, heart and your very identity itself? How about one of those reasons being, you being given another opportunity for being with your breath? That lover of you, that goes continuously every moment, from your birth to death, you come into it and it comes into you, and you notice just about everything BUT that, don’t you? We’ve all been there done that, haven’t we?

All spiritual systems, gurus, yoga and every system a seeker goes through, talks about the beauty and sacredness of ones own breath! Nothing to be bought, no guru better than your own breath, is there? Some lover isn’t it, who continuously breathes you inside and out! And for all you women, who constantly complain of “unfaithfulness of your partner”, how many times have you betrayed your own constant companion, only for life out there, to bring you back again and again, events, shattering events, breakdowns, to bring you back, to a place where you become, momentarily, but very present with your own breath?! People or situations in your life, that literally shocked you out of your stupor of the hypnotism of a physical reality, or the apparent betrayal of someone you loved or cared for, or that raise or promotion you were denied, or better still you were let go from the work itself and you were left alone, abandoned, to figure it out? Not really. Those are just opportunities for embracing your own lover, your own breath. The love affair of your soul with the earth, one breathing the other, constantly, as long as you are here, in the physical body. Have you forgotten? Oh yes you will, even after reading this, for sure! But no worries, life will find you, and earth will find you again and again, through, perhaps through other seeming disasters and breakdowns or breakthroughs or epiphanies that life itself will bring right to you, on your own doorstep! It cannot be any other way, do you see this? It is that lover, who never ever leaves you, ever. As long as you’re on earth, Earth love you, and you love it. One is claiming the other, in a pulsating vibration of love. Every in-breath and out-breath. It is not happening in some distant future, but right now. It is not dependent on anyone or anything at all, for it is a sacred contract of you being on earth in the physical.

And so, if you want to skip over any troubles or shattering that life will put you through and unnecessary churning that you never imagined possible, why don’t you consciously sensuously breathe, every incoming and outgoing breath, as passionate as your own lovemaking with a spouse or a lover, become sensual with your breath, and it won’t even be visible to another and you can do it everywhere and anywhere. Sitting in your office, in your home or traveling, you can BE with your breath, every incoming and ever outgoing, as earth meets you inside, and you meet earth outside, and engage with this, sensually, passionately and if you dare, more powerfully too. Engage with all that you are. I assure you, less crap will happen with you, for you are in tune with earth and earth will bring good stuff instead of bullshit to deal with, so that you gasp, choke or cry, for you to watch your own breathing again.

The Darkness of Lightworkers

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Its everywhere isn’t it ?! What is it that troubles you lightworker ? Low self worth? Are you seeking light, to run from your own low self image? What do you see in the mirror? An aging body? Do you see those wrinkles? So you see that sagging body giving a host of problems? Did you seek spirituality as a means of discovering all those real life solutions to real life problems calling them 3D and Karma? And now a little crack in that window has been opened and you are going around like a wild monkey, preaching and teaching others haan? Peeping into other side can be like that…. maybe its the excitement of possibilities of who you are is exciting you? And at the same time, the darkness of all that is your physical reality is chasing you around like a hunted blind animal at night?! Are you still busy putting down others around you? your spouse, kids, boss, family, relatives? Are you able to be compassionate to them in one second and be an angry vicious lion in the next and not able to comprehend what the hell is going on? Am I a lightworker or a freakin darkworker? Or are both the same good old me?

Duality is chasing all light workers and dark workers alike. Doesn’t even matter now if you think the latter term is derogatory or not. In fact it doesn’t even matter whatever term you use or don’t use…multidimensional, unidimensional, parallel lives, planes of existence, parallel realities and all these terms you tout so much never even understanding that wrinkles on the face or the tired look you face each time you avoid looking in the mirror do you? Duality my dear. Is it getting to you, like rest everyone around? The higher you rise in vibration, the lower you seem to fall in an endless pit of low self worth and feeling like a piece of shit, are you? The tides of vibrations are shifting under your very feet lightworker….oh spiritual glorious being of god… you are being loved every moment…are you hearing the voice inside you yet… or is it tossing you about like a leaf in the wind? Can you accept your low self worth? can you even acknowledge that your own propensity of putting your own brothers and sisters down just so you can call yourself a higher vibrational being. Is “higher vibration” and “lower vibration” still your mantra? And so you use that as a weapon to judge and separate yourself even more from those around you, and yes …again there is the mirror mirror on the wall isn’t there? Bad financial problems? and preaching Law of Attraction to the entire world are you, charging them for teaching, what does not show up in your own bank account are you? Who are you fooling? Aren’t you stuck in the same reality as the lower vibrational being that you so conveniently avoid at all costs ? Where is your true beacon of light oh dear lightworker? All your sensitivity to lower vibration is of no use unless you can stand in your own worth, without putting down anyone around you, is there? you know this very well deep down don’t you, even if you conceal it in the house of your crystals, and all the healing you propose to do on others, being of deep wounds from past lives yourself ? Yes, ,I am addressing your very darkness right now aren’t I? How does it feel to be the lowliest of creatures, preaching to the choir here about things you really don’t believe or even have perception of, just a brief glimpses of things here and there, and yet you are afraid to be vulnerable aren’t you with that taxi driver or the very students you preach to or feel higher than ?

There are all of you running around feeling like mini gods and goddesses and claiming this and that, and yet simple duality of everyday, the great equalizer of life, death, bad complexion, aging, health, is getting to you isn’t it? what do you do with that duality? You tried to stamp it, trample over it, rub it, erase it, dissolve it, move past it and all ways you could, didn’t you? Why can’t you just start by being normal for a change again? Is that too small for you now? Are your feet too big a size, now, that you won’t fit with the rest of the humanity, hiding in closet of your darkness, while rest of humanity bathes you, clothes you, feeds you, provides you electricity, and you claim all of these people to be low vibrational, ignorant beings? How is that high handedness working out for the abundance you teach? Or the NLP or coaching you profess to have? Duality still chasing you around more than you can handle with all your far out vibrations, the bookish knowledge and techniques to con people of their money, all the while….looking in that mirror on the wall of your own bathroom…and what do you see yet again?? An aging body, and a worthless self, taking revenge on all those who made you feel small when you were a kid, are you? ┬áHave you yet made peace with your parents, relatives, brothers and sisters, spouse, kids, boss? Truly. Have you? Or are you learning about love and forgiveness, giving intents which have no heart value in them…just a mouthpiece of fancy words and quoting catch phrases from all outdated philosophers and masters of the old? What is your own? have you dared to bring yourself out naked and play with everyone? Or are you still too small to take the assistance of someone smarter than you, even be it lightworker or master or prophet? Don’t you yet have words of your own wisdom or are you busy touting around old words in a new phrase, like dressing up an old lady in new clothes? Where are you in all of this dear lightworker? Duality still chasing you is it?

Is compassion still a problem for you? Are you able to provide from your gut and heart, true compassion to every person that passes you by? Are you able to lay your hand on your brother, doesn’t matter what they look like , and be loving beyond all your fancy definitions? Is something still holding you back even at such a basic level? After crossing so many barriers of your old self, isn’t such a basic thing a given? What stops you from taking that brave step forward, saying who you are, why you are, and give full expression to all those around you? Are you still hiding from everyone? You’ve been killed in the past for showing enlightenment and now you’re still hiding lightworker aren’t you? Why? Afraid of getting burnt at stake yet again? Or shot by a squad? Afraid of death still ? Duality of death still getting to you, in spite of all the multidimensionality you claim, oh wise one? Afraid of ridicule and insults are you still? Oh hiding lightworker, come out and play…for if you truly have light inside you, shouldn’t you be clearing out darkness even as you walk on the dirt of the earth? What is keeping you from expression? Full on expression of all that you are.

What do I do with this duality? You ask. Let it be where it is. Let the aging body while you look at yourself in the bathroom, be what it is. Does everything need to fit in your world to everything else? Are you that obsessive compulsive of solving or making everything fit into everything else, while the rest of the world is chugging along on its own merry wheels? Stop trying to fit into everything or running away from others. Stop being so selective of low or high vibrations. Just mingle. Lose yourself in the world. If you have the light and you’re really a lightworker, it should not bother you, for the love of god is right there with you under your feet isn’t it? or is god still hanging around somewhere above clouds and you’re a worthless piece of shit on earth? Where is your god light worker? Is it inside? Then why the low self worth problems ? Why are you not able to laugh from your gut at everything, freely mingle and associate with the world, smile and be truly joyful and free? Time to see things for what they are, and accept grandness of who you are, without barriers or trying to solve your own duality. Let everything be. And you be you, with everything you’ve got going on. Come out and play!

A Love letter to Myself

love-letter1

My Dearest Arun,

Hello. I am you. And I have come here to meet you and to talk about you. How does it feel to be writing about me, by me? Funny isn’t it? And that is perhaps the way you have looked at all and everything around your life. Its Funny! It has always been that for you has it not?

As a younger version, you were playful, energetic and vibrant child full of life. Others around you were always happy to be around you. Everyone wanted a piece of Arun, did they not? Life of any game they wanted to play. Everyone wanted to defeat Arun, did they not? And you could perhaps never understand that reason why? When all you ever wanted was for everyone around you to be happy, and that sense of competition never touched you or bothered you. Do you now understand that it was never you who were wrong about how you felt, but they felt bad about themselves, and lashed back at you in so many ways, that hurt you? Even then, you never questioned yourself. Do you know why? Because your energy was always and has always been pure and they just did not understand it and it was not their place to understand you. Do you see this now? It was only you who have to know now and own your own inner glorious self, who wanted just laughter and happiness around you, and even more glorious is the fact that all along, through your childhood, you only ever wanted that… that simple simple thing of fun and laughter, without any conditions or requirements from others… do you see my dearest Arun, that THAT is you… your true essence? You always were a pure, glorious child, capable of living and breathing fun and laughter, all the time. Others around you, wanted your brilliance in homework, exams, games and so on. Not you. All you wanted was fun and laughter. Remember that as one of your essences. Your flavor. That is what you carried through as a child, with other children.

As you were a teenager, you came to shift places, came to a new town, and your own sexuality and hormones confused you along with the change of place, rudeness of the new friends in a new place hit you. And you did not know how to deal with so many changes all at once. And to compensate, you ate a lot of food, junk food and it came to show as your weight. And this you did as a means of survival, to protect yourself from the world around you, in your food. Do you see how you did that marvelously? Do you see how you championed yourself in those very difficult times? Not knowing. Not understanding. Not having belief in anything. Losing belief in yourself, because you did not even know why all this was happening around you? And yet, you came out with flying colors. You survived. You pushed through. You were persistent. You did make new friends. Ones who understood you, who connected with you. And you had fun with them, laughter once again. You tried to discover new meaning of life through philosophy and spirituality, even as a teen. Even in the face of meaninglessness of life and the thriving new found sexuality within you, you energized yourself, beyond what your teenage friends would do, you dived into core of spirituality with “who am I”? Do you see now, how that helped you cope with all that you had going on? Do you see how you handled multiple issues in your life at the same time! Do you see a winner there? Do you now see how a then, a champion was born, one who can come through any and all challenges, even not knowing the nature of everything around you and even strange people and places? Do you see how it prepared you for the next ground?

As you entered graduation college of engineering, yet again was another challenge for you, but you were better prepared, for you had laid the foundation of being prepared for unknowns. Do you see how magnificent you were in carving out yourself from within yourself and nothing more?!! You were thrown into a wider arena, with students from all over India, different languages, different groups, Rock music, Heavy metal, girls, engineering studies, strange place, strange dormitory, strange everything… and once again, you felt you were thrown into a whirlpool of chaos did you not?! And now, you brought forward, once again, all your capacities to deal with newness. You smoked and drank and partied with pot, and yet, you did make it. You made good friends, shared your heartfelt stories, read books after books, fiction to the Gita to Spirituality to Psychics, to Murder mysteries to everything. And all with a bottle of rum and a cigarette on the other? Remember how your friends used to drop by and say “Arun you’re such a maverick!” That is when they pointed out another essence of you? And it hit you like an AHA! And you dived deep into more learning and learning. Be it engineering or be it books. Remember how you sold your watches and calculators to buy books? Now do you see, how you understood yourself to be a maverick and a learning machine? Do you realize now how truly awesome, unique and powerful you are, and were even at that time? Now you discovered another layer to you, one that is learning, fun loving in addition to being all games and laughter. See the dimensions you were adding to your own charming personality, that others around you just could not get enough of?

And then you were called an engineer and you came to work. From the very first day at your first place of work, you brought a new element called innovation. Something that was done, you found ways to do it quicker and in shorter time? Remember how that charged you up? Each day of work from the first day, you always looked to new ways of doing same tasks, innovative ways, that infact made many around you jealous of you, and did things in fact to hurt you or backstab you? But do you now understand that they were putting themselves in a tiny box of submissiveness and you were enlarging the very box you were always put in?! Do you see how magnanimous that was on your part? Do you now believe innovative and creative you truly are? That was so wonderful! Now you journeyed from fun, laughter, to learning and maverick and further on to being innovative and creating out of the box!How you brought changes to organizations who felt a life has left them, when you left the organization? And yet no one had the magnanimousness to thank you for your energies? Do you now understand that it was never about them, but you had to revel in your own gloriousness and that is all that was ever needed?

And then came marriage and shifts and falling in love? Do you know that love starting appearing in your life then? And then you discovered that love is not one dimensional at all, that there were so many ways, you could love? Love of friends, love of children, love of women, love of colleagues? All the loves you had you drank in. But all the while, do you understand now, that you were only drinking in your love from other cups? They were all merely instruments of your own love, being expressed back to you? Do you understand this now? Do you see the beauty of all the reflections of love around you? And all the reflections, only came to show you, that you are the one that loved you the most and you are the one who are the award winner and the director of your own movie. The women who fell in love with you, was you in another form, expressing back to you. All the friends you hung out with, were you with you. And as days and shifts went by, friends starting dropping away, new spiritual teachings came your way, new books, new habits, new people, channelling works… all opened up your path to a new way… a new way of being… once again became an invitation.. and you travelled all countries from canada to japan…meeting new cultures, people, learning their ways of communication, what they like and dislike… all the while do you see that you brought about your own pure essence of fun, laughter, being easy about everything, not taking life so seriously, constant learning machine, maverick and thinking out of the box, innovative and making wonderful systems for companies that you worked for and yet love in all things and for all people…. do you now see, how all of those wonderful qualities that you lived through your life…. now came to be useful to everyone around you… did you know that they drank all of it from you… puzzled … almost flabbergasted at how you manage what you do, having fun and joking about all of it on the side? Do you Arun see the brilliance of all that you did? Most of all doing all of that breathing, living and enjoying life, without any attachment to anything, and yet , looking for the next beautiful thing to imagine and create, the next thing to learn and understand, the next way to show another, to help and rebuild? Do you understand Arun how truly brilliant, wonderful, light, fun loving, creative, maverick, innovative genius you always have been? and that your life so far has always been bringing out the best in you? Most of all, do you see that every step along the way, was only a step in self discovery of you, and was not about anything or anyone else??!

And then remember you decided one day, that now you are in a pure place of helping others, with what you have learned in your life, share your energy and life and fun, laughter, creative, learning , innovative genius that you are, now decided you would choose to create other humans towards a happier life? Remember how great that felt and you took on Coaching?! And here you are this day, still doing all of those what you are, still finding ways to explore and dive in head first, and everyone who you know, and who you do not know too, who are reading these words now, who have felt your essence, are also benefitting in some little way, from you, yet again!

All this to say, my dear Arun, I love you! I love who you were, who you are and who you are constantly becoming. I love the time you are me and I am you. I love every moment of life you have lived with me. And I look forward to the newer adventures you will have in the future too. As that is what you do! I love you Arun. I truly do!